Being the father of two multiracial kids (my wife Nickol is African American), I thought today - Martin Luther King Jr. Day - would be an ideal time to dive into the blogging world. For me, helping my kids define their own identity in a country with very rigid racial definitions is a daily affair.
Take my eleven year son Jay. His identity has become defined by how he's seen by others and that means as an African American. He associates himself more with his mother, speaks no Spanish and feels a strong affinity with African American culture. My six year old daughter Kylie, on the other hand, is still going through the process of figuring out who she is. She's her daddy's little girl, and she considers herself medium brown, in between daddy who is light brown and mommy who is dark brown. She still doesn't understand why people at school call her black. She sometimes doesn't understand why people are always asking her why her father isn't black.
When I look at my two kids, I understand how far we've come. But I'm reminded on a daily basis how far we have to go. I'm reminded every time Kylie and I get a double take when we're in the mall shopping together. I'm reminded each time that Jay tells me that the older kids told him that I can't possibly be his dad. I'm reminded each time Nickol tells me that someone assumed she must be Dominican because her last name is Arreaga or is told she doesn't sound "ethnic" over the phone.
As I sit contemplating what Martin Luther King Jr. was all about, the word that comes to mind first is tolerance. As he said "I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character". I shudder to think of the discrimination that my wife, kids and I would have faced had it not been for Martin Luther King Jr. Still I can't help but wonder if my grandchildren will be judged by who they are, and not the color of their skin.